Ego struggles

Posted on Posted in General

M’Lady destroyed me within seconds. Hitting the very weaknesses of mine with unspoken precision. Cutting like a knife through butter. Not so much a pleasant experience but a neccesary one. I am afraid and bunker myself in. The risks I take are not really risky. Mindfuck and self-pity won’t get me anywhere. I am finding reasons for not doing something, then counterreasons to do it. Find myself in circles. What a time and energyconsuming bullshit. All those concepts and I haven’t even done anything yet.
So much for lovely? Well, she still is. Didn’t do that to hurt me but to get me ahead. Ego cries, hates and behaves like a child not getting his ice-cream. Reason was bullshitting around avoiding my ego to get hurt. After a while I said something that hurt her very much and I immidiatly felt this icecold shower going down my spine. Waking me up. That was when it all came through to me. The wall has fallen. Stupid ego. Paralysed.
Apologize, Apologize…
So I did. It hurts. Not so much that I am flawed but that I did hurt her.

You came here to learn? This is what you get!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *