M’Lady destroyed me within seconds. Hitting the very weaknesses of mine with unspoken precision. Cutting like a knife through butter. Not so much a pleasant experience but a neccesary one. I am afraid and bunker myself in. The risks I take are not really risky. Mindfuck and self-pity won’t get me anywhere. I am finding reasons for not doing something, then counterreasons to do it. Find myself in circles. What a time and energyconsuming bullshit. All those concepts and I haven’t even done anything yet.
So much for lovely? Well, she still is. Didn’t do that to hurt me but to get me ahead. Ego cries, hates and behaves like a child not getting his ice-cream. Reason was bullshitting around avoiding my ego to get hurt. After a while I said something that hurt her very much and I immidiatly felt this icecold shower going down my spine. Waking me up. That was when it all came through to me. The wall has fallen. Stupid ego. Paralysed.
So I did. It hurts. Not so much that I am flawed but that I did hurt her.
You came here to learn? This is what you get!